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View Full Version : Monty python's holy grail... just talk about it!


wolfcow
06-27-2004, 01:59 PM
since it was suggested in the spam section, i made the topic! muhahahaha

so just post your favorite quotes and what not.

enjoy reading all this... if you wish... the lines i like are in red...hehe

this is scene 21 in the movie... the rabbit scene
...
TIM: Too late! [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: What?
TIM: There he is!
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and
bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!???:
???: Get stuffed!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
???: Oh, yeah?
ROBIN: You monkey's scot's get!
TIM: I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp - he can leap about - look at the bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!
BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
TIM: Look! [squeak]
BORIS: Aaaugh! [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!
TIM: I warned you!
ROBIN: I peed again!
TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't
you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the
same, I always -
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
TIM: - But do they listen to me? -
ARTHUR: Right!
TIM: - Oh, no -
KNIGHTS: Charge! [squeak squeak]
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! etc.
KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!
TIM: Haw haw haw. Haw haw haw. Haw haw.
ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose?
???: Gawain. Hector.
ARTHUR: And Boris. That's five.
GALAHAD: Three, sir.
ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault,
that rabbit's dynamite.
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
ARTHUR: Like what?
GALAHAD: Well,...
ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
???: No.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the
sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the
Holy Hand Grenade! [repititions of "di ay este ooo domine doe nai ay is requiem-
sort of phoenetically] How does it, uh... how does it work?
???: I know not, my liege.
???: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
BROTHER: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh,
Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to
tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon
the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast
cereals, and fruit bats, and large -"
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number
thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt
thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to
three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe,
who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
MAYNARD: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
ARTHUR: Right! One... two... five!
???: Three, sir!
ARTHUR: Three! [boom]

that was fun... now it is your turn to talk bout this scene or write your own quote, it doesn't have to be this long... plus, i cheeted, i have the entire script! hehe

ZrAeNiAn
06-27-2004, 02:04 PM
i liked it alot, got it on DVD. and just love the black knight thing :)

"I AM THE BLACK KNIGHT, I AM INVINCIBLE!!!"

-Zr-

wolfcow
06-27-2004, 02:15 PM
i liked it alot, got it on DVD. and just love the black knight thing :)

"I AM THE BLACK KNIGHT, I AM INVINCIBLE!!!"

-Zr-

lol

yeah

"i'll chew your legs off!"

TheImprisonedOne
06-27-2004, 02:16 PM
All I remember about this movie is the bunny, the Knights who say nee, the coconuts instead of horses and something with shrubbery...

wolfcow
06-27-2004, 02:23 PM
All I remember about this movie is the bunny, the Knights who say nee, the coconuts instead of horses and something with shrubbery...

well at least you remember something!

here is the nee scene!


Scene 13

HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... Nee!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
BEDEMIR: Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nee, Pen, and Nee-wom!
RANDOM: Nee-wom!ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Nee demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Nee, we are but simple travellers who seek the enc
hanter
who lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery! [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We shall find a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass
through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Nee, you are just and fair, and we will return with a
shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIGHTS: Now... go!

TheImprisonedOne
06-27-2004, 02:31 PM
That one's a lot shorter than the first one.

"Nee" is the Dutch word for "no", only pronounced "nay".

wolfcow
06-27-2004, 02:40 PM
That one's a lot shorter than the first one.

"Nee" is the Dutch word for "no", only pronounced "nay".

Cool

anyway... this is the rest of it after a couple of scenes


Scene 18

[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could buya
shrubbery! [dramatic chord]
CRONE: Who sent you?
ARTHUR: The Knights Who Say Nee.
CRONE: Agh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I
will say... we will say... 'nee'.
CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!
ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,... nee!
CRONE: No! Never! No shrubberies!
ARTHUR: Nee!
BEDEMIR: Nu! Nu!
ARTHUR: No, no, no, no - it's not that, it's 'nee'.
BEDEMIR: Nu!
ARTHUR: No, no - 'nee'. You're not doing it properly.
BEDEMIR: Nu! Nee!
ARTHUR: That's it, that's it, you've got it.
ARTHUR and BEDEMIR: Nee! Nee!
ROGER: Are you saying 'nee' to that old woman?
ARTHUR: Um, yes.
ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can 'nee' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even
those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress
at this period in history.
ARTHUR: Did you say 'shrubberies'?
ROGER: Yes, shrubberies are my trade - I am a shrubber. My name is Roger
the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
BEDEMIR: Nee!
ARTHUR: No! No, no, no! No!

Scene 19

ARTHUR: O, Knights of Nee, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?
HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. But
there is one small problem.
ARTHUR: What is that?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say Nee.
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh shh. We are now the Knights Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-
pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of - Knights Who 'Til Recently Said Nee?
HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery! [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here
beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two-level effect with
a little path running down the middle.
RANDOM: A path! A path! Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the
mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring! [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please!
ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Don't say that word.
ARTHUR: What word?
HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of
Nee cannot hear.
ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
ARTHUR: What, 'is'?
HEAD KNIGHT: No, not 'is' - we couldn't get vary far in life not saying 'is'.
BEDEMIR: My liege, it's Sir Robin!
MINSTREL (singing): Packing it in and packing it up,
And sneaking away and buggering up,
And chickening out and pissing about,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.
ARTHUR: Oh, Robin!
ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word!
ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?
MINSTREL (singing): He is sneaking away and buggering up -
ROBIN: Shut up! No, no no - far from it.
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again!
ROBIN: I was looking for it.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
ROBIN: Uh, here, here in this forest.
ARTHUR: No, it is far from -
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word!
ARTHUR: Oh, stop it!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh! He said it again!
ARTHUR: Patsy!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaugh! I said it! I said it! Ooh! I said it again!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
[Narrative Interlude]
NARRATOR: And so Arthur and Bedemir and Sir Robin set out on their search to
find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in Scene 24. Beyond the
forest they met Launcelot and Galahad, and there was much rejoicing.
ALL: Yay! Yay!
NARRATOR: In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat Robin's
minstrels. And there was much rejoicing.
ALL: Yay!
NARRATOR: A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into
Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a
miss and went straight on into Autumn. Until one day...

this is fun

L2Mc
06-27-2004, 03:35 PM
Neee!!!

You used my suggestion! kudos to you!
Personally I'm a flying circus man. The pope sketch was hilarious.

Lixie
06-27-2004, 03:44 PM
KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!


Just those simple words made the movie for me.

wolfcow
06-28-2004, 02:35 AM
KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!


Just those simple words made the movie for me.

lol... yeah, that rabbit's dynamite!

WhatsYourPoison?
06-28-2004, 06:35 AM
I own a lot of Monty Python, the movies are good but the songs they did are funnier. My favs are I'm a Lumberjack and Spam.

"Oh i'm a lumberjack and i'm okay,
i sleep all night and work all day,
i cut down trees,
i wear high heels, supendee's and a bra.
i wish i'd been a girly just like my dear papa,"

Aurora Dark
06-28-2004, 07:07 AM
I'll admit, I'm not the hugest fan of the movie.. I don't hate it or nothin, it's just that I've only seen it once, a lonnnggg time ago...


but that bunny is one of the most awesome characters I have ever seen in a movie. :D

TheImprisonedOne
06-28-2004, 03:28 PM
I saw the parrot sketch once. That was some good stuff.

wolfcow
06-28-2004, 08:19 PM
i saw life of brain a few days ago, it was... okay, i think holy grail was better...

my favorite character is the rabbit!

DonkeyBalls
07-01-2004, 10:25 AM
One of the funniest movies of all time! The knights who say Knee! God I love that movie, even the french people

mizugakuremaru
07-02-2004, 11:40 AM
bring out your dead!

I like that scene, with the old woman in the back banging the cat against the wall

wolfcow
07-04-2004, 10:49 AM
yeah that ıs a funny one! also the one wıth the mokes sayıng that verse then hıttıng there heads... sınce ı am ın turkey ı do not have the scrıpt handy... oh well.

mizugakuremaru
07-04-2004, 06:53 PM
pie lesu domina dona eis requiem *WHACK*

narutofanboy
07-06-2004, 02:03 AM
hhahahaah i LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! three WOOTS TO THIS

wolfcow
07-27-2004, 05:48 PM
hhahahaah i LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! three WOOTS TO THIS

w00t w00t w00t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I exspecially lıke the laurels..."

(the nıghts of nees frıst response to the fırst shrubbery)

what other monty pythons do ppl like?