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View Full Version : Oh Sasuke! You sexy beast, you! (chap1 not done...yet)


AK47
09-25-2006, 03:34 AM
Chapter 1

Oh t’was a radiant morning, of vibrant and vivid reds and oranges, gleaming magnificently all over the village. The deafening lullaby of the robotic rooster awoke the lethargic workers, students, doctors, ramen shop owners, and ninjas. Oh and such a graceful mockingbird agitated its wings in a such a harmonious pattern. It landed on a branch of a dead tree and sat to prepare for it’s orchestral ceremony. It’s melodious voice soothed the presence of all living creatures. People in their homes stopped to listen to the renowned voice of the mockingbird. But the song was interrupted and it’s discordant change of voice caused the people and animals to go back to their doing.

Oh t’was a horrible sight. Who could have caused this kind of accident. An accident? No it wasn’t an accident. It was an incorrigible evil who did this. Someone or something that/who had no feelings or emotions. Anyways, beside the dead tree and the dead bird with a knife speared in its head, was an opened window with a dark boy inside the room wrapping his blanket and pillows around his head…
“SHUT UP, STUPID FOCKINGBIRD!” (ohhoho)
He threw his blanket and pillows as if it were an explosion and he looked at the ceiling and screamed.
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” and then he panted heavily with his teeth gritting.
Then the door opened and an older boy popped his head inside.
“You shut the up you twerp. Hurry up and get ready for breakfast. Last one there is a rotten egg!”
“YAAAAAAA-”

Oh the peaceful introduction I gave you was interrupted by this… this nonsense of screaming and unexplicable events. I cannot describe you the pain and suffering I had to go through while writing this. But… it had to be done since the ending is quite different.
The Uchihas. Part of the famous clan who wore the crimson eyes and were famous for their police force. However this particular family of Uchiha’s were the different among the others. The mom and dad, particularly did not have a good relationship and Sasuke’s mom would usually come at home at 3AM all drunk and knocked up. Now, Sasuke. A 12 year old boy. His older brother Itachi, was probably going to have the most successful and happy life in the future, because he was the university’s top student and captain of the ANBU football team. Huddled by hotties and old women he was popular and smart. You think his younger brother would get the same reputation. Well he does, but boy does he act friggin weird.
So one morning he kills a poor innocent bird and he goes to the washroom to wash up.
“Sasuke! Are you cutting your wrists again? There’s blood on your blanket again! Or are you having a period? Tee hee.” called Sasuke’s mom.
Sasuke tore the shower curtain’s down, banged on the tiles on the wall and screamed, “YAAAAAAAAAA-”
Then he had a nice or should I say gloomy breakfast… but it was Froot loops! However even froot loops couldn’t light up sasuke’s eyes.
So Sasuke got his backpack and his Transformer’s Lunch Kit and opened the front door.
His mom called, “Bye Sasuke!”
But in return she got a, “SHUT UP YOU STUPID BI***” and the door closed.

Oh what a start of a glorious morning. You wonder how Sasuke’s mom can hold that bulging vein in her head, well actually it’s because she was excited about getting knocked up by Kakashi. Anyways Sasuke entered the school buildings and as usual crowd of girls and two guys flocked behind Sasuke and the guys stare in awe of his popularity. All the girls were gossiping behind him. They annoyed him and he screamed,
“SHUT UP YOU BIT***”
“Sasuke, please shut up and sit down.” interrupted the Sensei.
“okay sensei”
“Sit down Class! Today we are going to change our agenda a little bit this morning because we have a new student today, and I need you to respect him. Everyone! Mina-San! Shizukani! Be Quiet! Welcome our newest member of this class.”
The sliding door presented a young blonde boy.
Whispers began roaming around the classroom.
“please, introduce yourself to you newest classmates”
“uh… my name is Naruto… Uzumaki Naruto, and I’m…. gay”
Then all of a sudden blue gleaming eyes shot a glance at Sasuke.
‘What the ****?’ Sasuke thought and looked at the window. But in the window he saw the reflection of the blue eyes.
“STOP LOOKING AT ME YO-You FREAK!!” Sasuke screamed, “YAAAAAAAAAAH!” and then he took out his ipod from his pocket started listening to emo music.
_____

For the first time Sasuke didn’t smoke the weed that Shino gave him, for Shino was a drug dealer since his little bug minions new where the best weed was, and started to feel a weird tingly feeling, and no it's not that sasuke is out of weed, but it was about the new boy. He sat there thinking about this in the playground.
The sparkling blue eyes, and the shiny golden hair, and the soft feathery whiskers (?) all on top of a bod with massive pectorals and guns the size of texas. And he didn’t forget the massive bulge on the new boy’s crotch area. T’was massive. All these emotions fed through him like a virus and he suddenly screamed in the playground, “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
The girls behind the bushes started gossiping
“like oh-my-gawd! He screamed so, like, beautifully, I think, like, he’s bringing sexy back.”
“Like Duh! He is like so like his brother and JT it’s like their like alike!”
“Do you think , like, he likes me?”
“Of course not, he like likes me! Like it’s so, like, obvious.”
And they continued, like, gossiping and I wish I knew how popular horny girls talked like. I will research more.
Sasuke rushed all his emotions into his head and the veins on his head were bulging. He took out a knife and cut a harry potter lightning bolt scar on his forehead. He started bleeding and didn’t have any Kleenex so he screamed… again, “YAAAAAAAAAAAAH”
Then out of nowhere a hankerchief was stuck in front of his eyes, so he looked up and saw two blue eyes staring back at his. The blonde boy patted Sasuke’s forehead gently and gracefully.
Sasuke’s face turned read and he began to sweat heavily. Uzumaki Naruto patted continuously until he missed and ‘accidentally’ touched Sasuke’s crotch.
“oh my, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I had no intention,” apologized Naruto.
Sasuke’s eyes were as wide as an…. Um …. Uh… were wide. But he kept his cool and said, “whatever.”
Naruto stood up and skipped away, “bye, see you later.”
__________________________________________________ _______

Canthinkofaname
09-25-2006, 09:19 PM
LOL, THATS HILARIOUS MAN.
t'was massive. lol man

AK47
09-26-2006, 12:08 AM
thnx bro, i'll finish it up this weekend

Lost Prophet
10-02-2006, 08:08 PM
LMFAO! that was great. it has inspired me to continue mine. I have soo many great ideas.

AK47
10-03-2006, 10:11 PM
eh mine sux compared to yours, i'm in smart english class and i have the worst grammar and w/e u learn in english ever
I will possibly finish mine up this weekend since i have loads of hw, but none of you will probably care );
The fanfic section really needs to be active, haven't been here for the whole summer and there are like 5 neew fanfics, and i made like 12 in total
CMON CHAOS DOUCHES!!! WRITE SOME DAMN FICS

Chidongan
10-03-2006, 10:19 PM
eh mine sux compared to yours, i'm in smart english class and i have the worst grammar and w/e u learn in english ever
I will possibly finish mine up this weekend since i have loads of hw, but none of you will probably care );
The fanfic section really needs to be active, haven't been here for the whole summer and there are like 5 neew fanfics, and i made like 12 in total
CMON CHAOS DOUCHES!!! WRITE SOME DAMN FICS

dont worry i will. i have two ideas for fanfics, but i just need time to write 'em out.

btw their not supposed to be funny, so dont expect too much. ^^

Canthinkofaname
10-03-2006, 10:20 PM
how inappropriate. this fanfic is hilarious. i will care if its continued or not

AK47
10-03-2006, 10:37 PM
eh? wut's inappropriate?
anyways it's my return to chaos so w/e people shall expect another 3000 posts from me in the future

.ZabuZa.
10-04-2006, 12:50 AM
first fan fic ever reading.........lol it was startin to get good at the end ^_^

Canthinkofaname
10-04-2006, 03:03 AM
whats inappropriate is that you thought people wouldnt care if you continued your fanfic or not, even though they did

AK47
10-04-2006, 03:56 AM
wrong word choice buddy o pal
maybe "rude' or some synonym of rude is what ur looking for

Canthinkofaname
10-04-2006, 07:36 AM
genius. inappropriate can mean the same thing as rude. they arent exact synonyms but hey..

Hellchild915
10-04-2006, 07:17 PM
that shit was funny

Lost Prophet
10-05-2006, 05:03 PM
the funniest part is when the teacher interrupts him. I was histerical after reading that

__Mõchá
10-21-2006, 09:51 PM
LMAO!! You finna continue right?? This is tha sh*t! Yo, it's too funny!
ps: Sasuke needs anger management and therapy!!