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View Full Version : The Pink Panther: Mz Sakura style!


AK47
06-19-2006, 10:47 PM
In the ruins of the village of sand, a mysterious disease started to plague the people. After Hobang co. became a popular company and raised the tourist attraction and made lots of money, prostitution became a big factor in the village and was funded with more hos and bitches and necessary tools and toys and objects and things for the company. The kazekage’s older sister, temari, was obviously, the big bitch of the corporation. Well that doesn’t matter, because all the prostitutes had a disease, and so did many men, married and single. The company started to lose money and tourist attraction and was rated one of the worst tour attractions in the world. Even damn cleopatra’s needle in London was more popular. However that is not the problem. The problem was that there was a mysterious disease and it needed to be solved and rid of. That’s where a mystery solver comes into play… this is the…..

THE PINK PANTHER: SAKURA SAN STYLE (HAHAHAHAHA)
The streets of konoha were quiet these days. Only the dust walked on the streets and passed by the shops daily. It was a terrible time for konoha, but nothing could be solved. The only mystery solver was the detective. The one person who guides the misguided on Team 7. Her name is Haruno Sakura. Yes, she’s a damn fine detective. The only one who could solve a rubix cube in 5 hours. Yes konoha is that dumb, but no one else could take the job. This was a duty for her and only assigned to her. If you wanted it, you couldn't have it, cuz it was only to sakura.
She waited in her office, waiting for the customer to come right through that door, where it said ‘Mystery solver, bitch’.
“DAMN who wrote that on my door!”

She waited for days and days for her next appointment, although there was none for her. She even had to survive on her toe nails, and eventually became anorexic, and you could see flab digging into her ribs.
Nah I’m just f***ing with you, she had buffets of food. I mean she has a f***ing family unlike that orphan naruto.

Anyways on a quiet evening, the door finally opened to sakura’s surprise, no wait, she didn’t even take a glimpse at the door. She acted cool. She called out,
“Who there, state your name?”
“um sakura, It's naruto, I don’t want to be your secretary anymore, I have to train to save sasuke,” said a blonde boy.
“Fine then. Leave you dumbass jinchuuriki,” spat Sakura, and Naruto left crying.

The door closed, and then someone knocked on the door.
Sakura stayed cool, “come in.”
The door opened and a sexy leg entered the room, but then a shrivelled face came along with it.
Sakura looked up surprised, “Holy SH**! What the f*** is that? Temari, What the hell is with your face?”
Temari smiled, almost, “I….. have…..aids.”
“the f***!” yelled sakura. “It’s because of that damn Hobang. Who did this to you?”
Temari lied down on a couch, “It…was…Sasuke.”
Sakura slapped Temari, “Slut!! He’s mine HO!”
Temari smiled again, almost, “Sakura…help…us…We... gonna.. not make it”
Sakura started to cry, “I will Temari… I’ll save the sand, with my awesome detective skillZ”
Then temari died.

Sakura bawled, “WHY? WHY HER? WHY NOT F***ING THAT PIG INO!!! OR THAT SLUT TEN TEN!!! WHY HER? SHE WAS A DAMN FINE LADY”
Yes, the plague that ruined the Sand. It was a sad day for the pink hair girl. But she couldn’t stop here. She must finish her duty, as a detective, as a friend, as a woman…
SHE'S A DAMN HEROINE GIRLZ!!!!

Canthinkofaname
06-19-2006, 11:01 PM
WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU HAVE SO MANY DAMN FANFICS.
BUT THERE ALL. AAWWEESSOOMMEE!!!!!!!!!!

Sol
06-19-2006, 11:02 PM
LOL a good prostitue detective moch story. I love it! Good job AK...very funny. :D

AK47
06-19-2006, 11:06 PM
wait i put in a theme song :D
and i edited some stuff a little
smoking!!~

Sol
06-19-2006, 11:31 PM
LOL! I get the feeling Sakura isnt your favorite character... :D The theme song was funny.

AK47
06-20-2006, 01:04 AM
well i deleted it cuz i didn't realize how stupid i was... :
and sakura... yeah not my fave character

Lost Prophet
06-20-2006, 04:39 PM
damn, this ones gonna be great!!!!! You should make on thread and put all ur fanfics there, and then update with new ones u make so it less crowds the page.

AK47
06-21-2006, 01:20 AM
delete this post

AK47
06-21-2006, 01:22 AM
delete this post also

AK47
06-21-2006, 01:23 AM
Sakura-chan began to prepare for her latest mystery. It was a mind boggler she had to solve. A code she had to crack. A rubix cube she had to decipher. A question she had to answer.

So she put on Temari’s fishnet stocking and sexy leather boots on. The pink haired female put on her rain coat and put her magnifying glass in the pocket. She opened her desk drawer and beside all the dildos and pictures of Sasuke (naughty!), she took out her leather gloves and wore them and ended by putting on her sexy Nancy Drew hat.

Looking at the mirror she thought, “I’ve got a mystery to unravel!”
She walked out of the gates of konoha, with her hands in her pocket and her head looking down on the ground, hiding her visage behind her hat.
As the hour passed, dead prostitutes began to appear on the side of the road as she came closer to the village of Sand.
“My gawd,” she coughed. She took out her handkerchief and covered her mouth with it to rid of the smell. “My hoes…This is horrible,” she mumbled.
Then all of a sudden she remembered, “Damn I need a partner for this job. But who could it be?”

An unexpected whoosh! Came out of nowhere and three people appeared in front of the detective. It was Naruto, Lee, and Jacques Closeau.
“Jacques, get out, you have your own show!” said Sakura, and pointed to the direction where the dead skanks were.
“Oui mademoiselle!” and he jumped into the pile of dead hos
“Now, who to choose,” she held her chin and walked back and forth, in front of Lee in naruto.
Naruto asked, “are we going to have ramen cuz I’m hungwy?” rubbing his tummy.
“ok Lee, you’re my partner. You are officially Inspector Lee.”
Rock Lee eyes turned into hearts, “YAHOO! We will have so much fun sakuwa chan! We gonna solve dis mystawy togedda! Yippee ippee wippeeeee!”
“kay, you are unofficially my partner,” then she turned to naruto, “you are officially my partner. You will be referred to as, Inspector Uzu.”
They left the crying green beast behind and Naruto and Sakura started to walk down the road. I mean, Inspector Uzu and Chief Inspector Haru, started to walk down the road.
Sounds much better.

The two finally arrived at the gates of the village. It felt as if no life existed. A stank started to reek the noses of the fellow detectives.
“My gawd what the hell is that smell?” said sakura plugging her nose with two fingers.
Naruto blushed, “I forgot to pee on the way here…”
“Dammit naruto, change your pants.”
Naruto had a surprised look, “in front of you?”
“No you damn fool behind me.”
“What, behind you? That’s naughty!”
“okay I will take this fist and shove it up your ass!”
“That’s Awesome! Do it!”

After a couple of minutes Naruto came out of the bushes changed and with bruises on his face and body, and a couple of broken ribs.
“Anyways Naruto, no fooling around now, we have to solve this mystery, of these deaths!” said the confident pink haired girl.

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”
A prostitute fell from the sky and landed right in front of Sakura and Naruto.
“*Gasp* omgzors”, said Sakura.
“What is it?” asked the simpleton Naruto.
Sakura looked at naruto, “you baka, u don’t know what this is?”
“no?”
Sakura went up to Naruto and whispered to his ear, “it’s a corpse.”
Naruto shrieked, “EEEK!”

Sakura took out a tape recorder and started recording. She went up to the dead body and started talking to the recorder, “ today is june 11th, year 2006. we have a dead body, sex female, possibly male, by looking at it’s crotch area, anyways, height is about 5 feet 4 and weight approximately 46 kg. The corpse has been dead for about, 1 minute and the cause of the death is still unknown, possibly from aids…….. end tape” and she stopped the tape.

Sakura sighed and put the tape in her pocket, “poor girl, she was probably a beautiful woman, may she rest in peace…” Then all of a sudden the body started to wriggle, and Sakura took out a gun and shot the body’s head repeatedly until it stopped moving.
Naruto screamed, “ OH…..MY….GOD! That… was like SOOOo scary.”
Sakura patted Naruto’s back, “it’s ok naruto, it’s gonna be ok…”
‘poor kid…. I knew he was too young… but the assessment is already made...”
then Naruto turned around with an evil smile, "but damn dat was sexy."
After some beating up the two continued their journey to solve the mystery of the deaths of the girls of Hobang co.

Canthinkofaname
06-21-2006, 01:49 AM
TRIPLE POST. you should edit that right away. but that was so funny. even funnier then the first chapter

AK47
06-21-2006, 02:17 AM
stupid edit button is dumb...

Lost Prophet
06-22-2006, 01:50 PM
lol, this one was hillarious. but did sakura shove her fist up naruto's ass?

AK47
06-22-2006, 09:52 PM
.....XD
hellz yes!!!

Lost Prophet
06-27-2006, 12:29 PM
AWESOMEZ!!!!!when will ze next chapter come out?

airstep
09-08-2006, 12:28 PM
Ahh... *thinks to self* If you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all.

*puts on a happy face and say... nice work

*thinks to self* Damn work on your grammar.