Zabusa's test

[WalkingFish]

ok i suck at narutoFF but whatever this is my first naruto to FF
and imk nto good at the way you all do the fics i do it in script form

Zabusa: this is my favorite training ground.
(points to a traing ground)
????:so what are we doing here?

Haku: yes what are we doing here?

Zabusa:you too are going to fight.
to see who will be my apprentice.

????: so i have to fight her.

Haku: i'm a boy.

????:O_O

Zabusa: yes Zaku, Haku is a boy.

Zaku:What the Hell.
I was gonna go easy on you but know im going to kill you.
(makes kreepy dark face)

Haku:You won't last a second
(puts mask on)

Zabusa now let me explain the rules.
There are no rules.
And the reason i like this traing ground so much is because there is 3 sections a desert, a ice, and a forest.

Zaku: Sounds gay to me.

Haku:Can we hurry up and fight.

Zabusa:first pick were you want to start.

Haku: ice

Zaku:desert
(at same time)

Zabusa: Zaku you go over there.
And Haku you go that way.
I'll yell go when you guys will fight.
(the two head off)
Zabusa:Oh and yeah loser dies


Any good

[regina777]

first attempt- huh!!
i wouldnt discourage you- but the best way to get an interesting plot is to try again and spent more time on each fanfiction you post from now. Make them a little longer and not too full with dialogue. Give a little description to moves, people, swords, background, etc. Then you will be getting there.

good start- :D

[WalkingFish]

this might be boring bacause you already know whos going to win
edit: next chapter after school

[kjrav]

nah ,nah go on I wanna see how zaku dies

[AK47]

ummm.... what is this?
is there like a story?
what!!!!?
what!?!!?

[WalkingFish]

we start at where zaku and haku arive at there destination

Zabusa(shout): Start.

Zaku: ill finish this quik and zabusa will be my master.
I'll wait here in my terrain.
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a311/SanativeStigma/iik.gif
*drop*

meanwhile at hakus area

Haku: hmph.
*starts to run towrds Zakus area*


zakus area


????: Male about age 14.


????: come on lets go.
hes here somewhere.

Back to haku

*throws ice needles in to bush*

Zabusa: come on

Haku: why are you here?

Zabusa: you'll see

*they arrive at the desert area*

*crouching*

Haku: Whos are they

Zabusa: Rain ninjas

Haku: Why are they here?

Zabusa: last month i assasinated a special Jounin in there country.

Haku: so there after you?

Zabusa: yes they are.

Rain ninja: you 2 go search over there.

rain nin: roger
*they dissapear ina blink of anf eye*

[AK47]

it's getting good
someone comment now

[Hellchild915]

yeah its good

[AK47]

i'm tired of writing i wanna read more

[WalkingFish]

::fate::

Zabusa: come on lets go

Haku: alright
*straight face

*haku walks onto the area and trips on something*

Zabusa: what is it?

* Haku lifts Zaku's head up*

Zabusa: Depacitated


Rain nin: hello
*with a kunai to Zabusa's neck*

Zabusa: Do you want to die

*as zabusa talks to the man haku hides*

Rain Nin: your gonna pay for what you did.

Zabusa: i didn't do anything Haku did.

Rain-nin: what?
well just shut up
HE...
*just the blodd starts pooring out of the rain nins mouth*

Rain nin2: i heard him over here

Rain nin3: yeah me...

Rain nin: hey you still there.
*sword goes threw chest and lifts him*
*the spill blood over the sword as his body twitches*
*zabusa's face kinda makes a confused emotion*

Haku: what is it?

Zabusa: it weird they only sent 3 nins.
*atleats 20 nins jump down and circle them*

Rain nin: No they were just weak

Zabusa: well then lets start this

*mist covers the feild*

Rain nin: F**k
*atleast 5 diffrent screams fill the air as blood falls over the rain nin*

*the rain in is cut in half*

Zabusa: 6 down 14 to go.

*zabusa swings his sword once cutting down 3 nins*

Haku: I think thats all of them

Rain nin: Wro-

*blood squirts every wear as huge sword goes threw the nins chest*

*the mist clears and 10 rain nins can be seen with needles threw there neck and head*

Rain nin: you fu-
*blood floods his mouth*