teh CHUCK thread!!!one!!

[graff]

this is the chuck thread instead of spamming other threads post all things chuck in this including gifs and chuck facts.

[KageNaruto]

chuck norris slipped on a banana peel and died 2 days ago

[CRtwenty]

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=QP1PuB1R-Xw

Chuck Norris hearing some of his "facts" on the Tony Danza show.

[Bap]

The full story. My dad's karate sensei was also Chuck Norris' sensei one time. Chuck thought he was hot stuff, and thought he was better than his teacher. He challenged him one day, but, unfortunately for Chuck, he was kicked through the dojo window.

True story. Chuck is an asshole

[superkhanh0]

lol bap :D, i dun really like him or his movie, asian fit more with fightin style :D

[graff]

i dont think any one really likes him but tha "facts" are freaking great.

[Maverick Viper]

One of my favorite Conan O'brian bits. The Walker Texas Ranger clips.
They're so bad they're good. :D

Walker clips (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu74GQaUNn0&search=Conan%20O%27brian%20)

[V.VELDANEN]

Why is he so famous? I know he's been on tv and all but his popularity??

[KageNaruto]

lol i know its amazing. he might even be more famous than michael jackson!


anyway bruce lee can wipe the floor with chukc without using more than 2 fingers!

[Maverick Viper]

I don't think he's popular for a good reason. I think it's because his acting is so bad that the Chuck craze has become a fad.

[KageNaruto]

probably yeah, by the way love ur sig^^

[Hellchild915]

Here is a fact about Chuck he sucks and that is the biggest fact of all

[King Vamp]

Whats everyones OBSESSION with Chuck Norris?

Why not DMX or Clive Owen?

[V.VELDANEN]

Maybe its his name....

[Maverick Viper]

probably yeah, by the way love ur sig^^

lol thanks. Gotta support the movement.

And yea V., Chuck's name is awesome! :?

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Chuck Norris is actually The One, not Neo.

[Bap]

probably yeah, by the way love ur sig^^

lol thanks. Gotta support the movement.

And yea V., Chuck's name is awesome! :?

I will not conform! Perhaps i should start the death to chuck norris campaign

[KageNaruto]

i would support it^^ (make sure that he slips on a banana peel for the pic)

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Chuck Norris beat superman at a game of DDR.. to this day superman can't perform properly in bed.

[KageNaruto]

but the banana peel, THE BANANA PEEL! :twisted:

[Maverick Viper]

probably yeah, by the way love ur sig^^

lol thanks. Gotta support the movement.

And yea V., Chuck's name is awesome! :?

I will not conform! Perhaps i should start the death to chuck norris campaign

I don't know if that's such a great idea. It might just lead to a "life to Chuck Norris campaign". And I don't think I'm ready for all the Chuck Norris sigs. :shock:

[Bap]

you;'re right -- The Sakura sigs are already too much imo

but once this phase goes out, i'll start it :P

[KageNaruto]

well i joined the death 2 chuck clan. check my sig out!

[Kyuubi kid]

You are all wrong about Chuck! If you want the truth go here:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

Chuck Norris is a God... End communication.

[Aurora Dark]

The Jack Bauer facts are the best ones :P

But hmm...

Chuck Norris is just well-known because he's iconic in a way. He's had a long career on tv, with a horrible show that still continued to air :P
And I mean.
This is a guy who had a cartoon in which he'd fight ninjas and warriors, and as hilarious as it was, it was rather stupid too :lol:

He's like a Steven Seagal of sorts, so egotistical but funny that you can't really bash him. Although Seagal's a lot more annoying, and a proven JERKFACE XD, so I bash him :P

[B166ER]

Chuck norris is also known as the guy who tried to sell so home sporting stuffs in TV shopping emissions, I guess one has to earn one's living...
anyway here's one of my favorite: In a fight between darth vader and batman, chuck norris would be the winner

Still don't quite get the fad, maybe because i'm not a conformist... I mean why chuck norris in place of any other actor?

Why nto Steven Cigal (beleive that is the spelling for his last name)

he is equally not a grat actor...

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Still don't quite get the fad, maybe because i'm not a conformist... I mean why chuck norris in place of any other actor?

Why nto Steven Cigal (beleive that is the spelling for his last name)

he is equally not a grat actor...

Yeah, but steven dosn't have bitchin facial hair.

[Sexy no Jutsu]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the whole earth.

[Maverick Viper]

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.

[graff]

thats a good one maveric

chuck norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.

[Lost Prophet]

chuck norris's tears can cure cancer. to bad he nerver cries.

theres a song from a canadian band called the hextalls who sing the chuck norris song.

chuck norris signs up daily for beginner karate classes just to "accidently" roundhouse kids in the face

chuck norris made the berlin wall break and the tower of pisa lean with a roundhouse kick.

when someone sneezes, god says, "chuck bless you"

[Bap]

Who else thinks this is just a spam thread that should be locked? :)

I would prefer Chuck over Steven Segal though, i hate Steven much more than Chuck

[Lost Prophet]

how do you "have" steven more over chuck?

[Bap]

lol i was gonna say i have a deep seeded hatred for steven, blah blah, but i decided to just go with that. Have did not get changed to hate i guess :P

Well now you all know, I have a deep seeded hatred for Steven Segal. One that Chuck Norris can't even rival.

[Maverick Viper]

Imagine a movie starring Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, and Vin Diesel. The Earth would implode if that level of bad acting ever came together. And I'd be first on line to buy a ticket. :D

[graff]

id be the guy camping out to see that movie. seriously.

but did anyone ever watch the delta force movies.

[SRVG]

id be the guy camping out to see that movie. seriously.

but did anyone ever watch the delta force movies.
jha i did.
still find them wel different.
the action is kinda cool but how its played is cracking me up.

[KageNaruto]

check norris is so gay that he slipped on a banana peel^^

[imported_Greenlitflag]

check norris is so gay that he slipped on a banana peel^^

Yes, this "check" character is quite gay, I'm sure. But we're talking about Chuck! :)
Oh and chuck norris is the leader of akatsuki, apparently kishimoto is a big fan of chuck... well, he became one after chuck roundhouse kicked him.

[KageNaruto]

lol i mispelled it! anyway changed my sig so now theres nothing to see..

[Maverick Viper]

Yes, this "check" character is quite gay, I'm sure. But we're talking about Chuck! :)
Oh and chuck norris is the leader of akatsuki, apparently kishimoto is a big fan of chuck... well, he became one after chuck roundhouse kicked him.


Kishimoto couldn't have survived a roundhouse kick. Maybe it was a half a roundhouse. :)

[KageNaruto]

lol, chuck norris isnt even buff in my opinion, it looks more like he put full cooked hams under his skin^^ (hey this is basicy a chuck spam thread might as well say stupid crap)

[Hayabusa]

I would prefer Chuck over Steven Segal though, i hate Steven much more than Chuck

Well imo most american actors who got to where there are today because of martial arts are fairly dislikeable. It just doesn't seem right how in a movie a white guy fairs better than an asian guy in martial arts.

[V.VELDANEN]

My god...pages and pages of spam!

And pretty darn funny too...LMAO!

[graff]

hey kage naruto if your not gonna worship teh chuck then get the fcuk out of this thread. no body cares ;) jp but seriously stay on topic this is supposed to be about chuck facts.

one time in a fight chuck norris left testicle flew off due to the velocity of his round house kick. it then began to orbit the earth. you may know it by its scientific term...jupiter.

[Kyuubi kid]

There is no chin underneath Chuck's beard, just another fist.

He has counted to infinite TWICE!!!

[Maverick Viper]

one time in a fight chuck norris left testicle flew off due to the velocity of his round house kick. it then began to orbit the earth. you may know it by its scientific term...jupiter.

lol, that one's great.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

[Lost Prophet]

chuck norris rocks my socks

chuck norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

chuck norris can lead a horse to water, and make it drink.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

[Bap]

I'm buying this shirt:

WARNING: Language on this site may be inappropriate for small children. Click at your own will.

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=590

[Maverick Viper]

That must be Chuck's fist hitting a Chuck impersonator right?

Anyway, Check out teh Chuck flash game. (http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/298925)

[KageNaruto]

chuck is so gay that hes a homo! boo 2 chuck

[Kyuubi kid]

Blasphemy!!
Do not insult him like that, you should be ashamed of yourselves!

[Hellchild915]

He's so gay that he makes a new kind of gay

[imported_Greenlitflag]

chuck is so gay that hes a homo! boo 2 chuck

I think I hear a roundhouse kick coming your way... and it sounds like a one-man stampede.

[Brock-lee]

chuck norris rocks my socks



When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.r

I LOL at this XD,,my grandfather loved Texas Ranger...so much so I know the opening song ot it

[graff]

chuck norris survived a suicide bombing. he was the bomber.

[Lost Prophet]

chuck norris can take kagenaruto to ranger school, and MAKE him pass.

[graff]

lmao

[ZrAeNiAn]

chuck norris rocks my socks



When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.r

I LOL at this XD,,my grandfather loved Texas Ranger...so much so I know the opening song ot it

in the eyes of the ranger.. the unsuspected stranger, he'd better know the truth from wrong to right... bla bla bla

even i do :p

anyway:

Australia wasnt even down under untill Chuck Norris lifted it up and put it down there in 1932

-Zr-

[KageNaruto]

chuck norris would loose to any serious high ranked martial artist

[chronocrash]

Some people take some things a little too seriously........ :roll: I wonder who on earth could be like that??

[Lost Prophet]

every one here, my friend, unfortunately

[dan2025]

every one here, my friend, unfortunately

to true

[Lost Prophet]

well, yeah. when it comes to chuck norris, anyone can get serious

[KageNaruto]

chuck norris doesent get high, he always is!

[graff]

kage naruto if your going to spam in here get the hell out seriously its obvious no one wants to listent to what u have to say so just ignore the thread.

although i will say this he would lose to bruce lee.

[KageNaruto]

u dont want me 2 spam!? this whole thnig is spam! theres a site that has like 50 chuck norris facts go find it on google! lol, this is basicly a chuck norris spam thread, andi can flame him if i wanna

[Bap]

I concur! If these are real Chuck Norris facts...

Chuck Norris' real name is Carlos Ray Norris Jr. -- yeah, disgrace!

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

Well, Chuck Norris in general is an effing douchebag who thinks he's cool, but the facts are hillarious. They never get old (most of them, of course), ever.

Now, Chuck Norris in general, like I said, isn't cool at all, he just thinks he is. I mean, he's a good martial artist, but his acting sucks bad, and I still don't know how he managed to be successful off of Walker: Texas Ranger and the crap movies he has been in. And I still don't know why he tries to sell crap exercise things that break after a couple of days using them (trust me, it has happened to my uncle when he bought one of them >.>; ). And he needs to shave that damn beard of his.

Meh, that's my thoughts.

[B166ER]

chuck norris would loose to any serious high ranked martial artist
I think he used to be karate world champion, this guy doesn't know how to act but he sure has some skills in kicking asses...

[ZrAeNiAn]

chuck norris would loose to any serious high ranked martial artist
I think he used to be karate world champion, this guy doesn't know how to act but he sure has some skills in kicking asses...

beside that chuck is old... You cant expect this person to be still at the top.

Chuck was for 6 years the undefeated middle wieght champion of the world. This man is not some punk :) He knows what he is doing. He acts terribly bad indeed :p


-Zr-

[Bap]

Norris became Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact), a title he held for seven consecutive years.

keyword: noncontact

GHEY

[KageNaruto]

lol chuck norris should figh jackie chan!

[SRVG]

the new chuck norris.

DAVID HASSELHOFF
http://sinequanon.spleenville.com/archives/images/hasselhoff7.jpg

[Hayabusa]

Hasselholf pwns Chuck. Cuz Hasselholf has a talking car. NO ONE CAN BEAT THAT!!!!!one111!!!

[graff]

haha true true. i will give you that.

and your sig. i dont want you to misunderstand why i said that its not that i dont like you so ill pm you why i said that.

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Hasselholf dosn't have a kick ass beard, nuff said.

[KageNaruto]

actualy chuck probably has lice and ticks in his "lame, not kikass, lame and gay" beard

[Maverick Viper]

As badass as Chuck may be. Nothing he could do will ever be as scary as this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ&search=Hooked%20On%20A%20Feeling)

Hasselhoff has him owned.

[Aurora Dark]

As badass as Chuck may be. Nothing he could do will ever be as scary as this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ&search=Hooked%20On%20A%20Feeling)

Hasselhoff has him owned.
wow, that is amazing. :D

[ZrAeNiAn]

As badass as Chuck may be. Nothing he could do will ever be as scary as this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ&search=Hooked%20On%20A%20Feeling)

Hasselhoff has him owned.
wow, that is amazing. :D

nuhu... its disturbing!!!

-Zr-

[dan2025]

nightmares for life that was scaryer then mousie

[superkhanh0]

haha, shhhh u wont leave long if u say that outloud
get back on topic : i dun like chuck very much lol

[KageNaruto]

aaaaaah that movie is gonna scare me till the day i die and follow me 2 the afterlife

[Maverick Viper]

Yea, it took me a few months to get over the nightmares. I think he must've been on crack when he made that video. It would explain the title.

[Gmex]

As badass as Chuck may be. Nothing he could do will ever be as scary as this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ&search=Hooked%20On%20A%20Feeling)

Hasselhoff has him owned.

why did i watch the whole thing?! >_>

[ZrAeNiAn]

As badass as Chuck may be. Nothing he could do will ever be as scary as this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ&search=Hooked%20On%20A%20Feeling)

Hasselhoff has him owned.

why did i watch the whole thing?! >_>

cause you are to curious about things

-Zr-

[imported_Greenlitflag]

That video was like The Ring or something... I get the feeling I'm going to get a phone call from david hasslholf saying "Seven days!" ughhhhhh.

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

David Hasselholf sucks, too, so no one has a right to say he's cool. =/

[SRVG]

That video was like The Ring or something... I get the feeling I'm going to get a phone call from david hasslholf saying "Seven days!" ughhhhhh.
jha mee to.
i hope he cals and comes by. i want his otograff.

and shinobi kenshin x what gives you the right to say hes not cool. your new here so stfu.
i dont wana flame but its about david and you dont offend my idol :evil:

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

and shinobi kenshin x what gives you the right to say hes not cool. your new here so stfu.
So new people aren't intelligent? :roll: Right.

On another note, I have every right to hate him. He's just another overrated celebrity who was in an overrated show that was pure crap.

[KageNaruto]

dont forget he was in spongebob the movie!!!!!!!!

[SRVG]

and shinobi kenshin x what gives you the right to say hes not cool. your new here so stfu.
So new people aren't intelligent? :roll: Right.

On another note, I have every right to hate him. He's just another overrated celebrity who was in an overrated show that was pure crap.

never said you wherent smart at all.
but the way you said it was as if you say we al need to obay you.
if you dont like him dont come here.

[graff]

amen

[Lost Prophet]

this is the chuck norris thread, not the david hasselhoff thread! OUT!!!!! anyways, norris was in dodgeball the movie, and that was in 2004. didn't the chuck norris fad begin in late 2005?

[V.VELDANEN]

.:Saw the video and pukes:.

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

and shinobi kenshin x what gives you the right to say hes not cool. your new here so stfu.
So new people aren't intelligent? :roll: Right.

On another note, I have every right to hate him. He's just another overrated celebrity who was in an overrated show that was pure crap.

never said you wherent smart at all.
but the way you said it was as if you say we al need to obay you.
if you dont like him dont come here.
No, I said my opinion, genius. And this is a Chuck Norris thread, therefor it's for both haters and lovers.

And even so, ya'll shouldn't be getting off topic by talking about David Hasselhof or anyone else. :\

[Maverick Viper]

Chuck Norris reads every thread created about him and can roundhouse kick the screen so hard that you'll feel it on your end.

If he was unhappy with this thread we would all be dead by now and the internet would be permanantly broken.

[Bap]

So he enjoys my mockery of him? Good, i do as well.

Chuck Norris once ate a basketball. I had loaded it with explosives of nuclear power. Not only did it incinerate him, it killed him too. Along with half the world. Bap is awesome.

[Hellchild915]

Chuck Norris once was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a bottle and died O-o wait I was just wishing that happened

[Lost Prophet]

one time chuck norris was stopped for speeding. don't worry, justice was served. the officer is recieving the death penalty of a roundhouse kick.

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Chuck Norris once ate a nuclear basketball. 2 days later he crapped it out and said "That was one shitty jaw breaker"

[Bap]

Ah, that must have been right before he ate mine -- good thing i loaded it with my own special kind of nukes. Its raining Chuck Norris and Nuclear dust right now...

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Ah, that must have been right before he ate mine -- good thing i loaded it with my own special kind of nukes. Its raining Chuck Norris and Nuclear dust right now...

Yes, but the sheer amount of badass infused in chuck norris covered the sky and blocked the sun, causing another ice-age or as historians will call it: The Chuck-Age.

[ZrAeNiAn]

there isnt such a thing like global warming, Chuck Norris was called so he turned up the sun.

-Zr-

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

Chuck Norris doesn't like his annoying fans...

[Bap]

Don't lie. Chuck finds these things to be funny, no matter how ridiculous. (wikipedia)

[Hellchild915]

Chuck once saved so kids out of a burning building then ate them after that sick bastard

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

Don't lie. Chuck finds these things to be funny, no matter how ridiculous. (wikipedia)
Not true. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts)
I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, Against All Odds? They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, The Justice Riders, released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
He only finds some of them to be funny. ;)

[Bap]

Well he didn't say that the ones here on NC are not funny :P So we are both posibly wrong

[Hellchild915]

I dont know if anybody has posted this game but here is a game of the retard chuck all you do is kill ninja's http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/18490/Chuck_Norris_in_Attack_if_the_Ninjas.html?autoplay =true

[Lost Prophet]

chuck norris won dance dance revolution twenty times in a row...but he never danced before. He MADE his oppponents surrender.

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Chuck Norris can perform fatalities in Mortal Kombat at the beggining of a round.

[Lost Prophet]

chuck norris has only one fatality, but its the best possible one. its a round house kick. this is also his only move.

[KageNaruto]

without his head chuck norris is powerles

[V.VELDANEN]

Without his beard...you mean...

[Lost Prophet]

yes, his beird is the greatest being known to man, that is..besides chuck norris...

[Brock-lee]

Chuck Norris had a xbox..he got tired of it and round house kicked it..it turned into an xbox 360..

[KageNaruto]

haha then his rou ndh ouse kik sucks cause ps3 is better

[Maverick Viper]

Chuck Norris already has the PS4. It's part of his contract deal to receive every system in advance since he invented the concept of video games.

[Brock-lee]

haha then his rou ndh ouse kik sucks cause ps3 is better


Chuck norris then saw ur post and thought about it...he then round house kicked it again and made it into a ps 3..60 8)

is ps3 even out?

[imported_Greenlitflag]

is ps3 even out?

Definantly not. We haven't even seen a live video of someone playing one... okay, well chuck norris has.

[graff]

haha omg i mean omc i love this thread.

when having sex chuck norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so hes the only one getting pleasured.

[Lost Prophet]

silly shino, condoms are for sailors. chuck norris is too much of a man to use one. I thought you knew better than that

[Brock-lee]

ya really...Chuck norris and birth control don't go in the same sentence..

[graff]

yeah but when its sheerly for 'HIS' pleasure hes all game.

chuck norris doesnt measure his penis by inches or even yards. Chuck norris measures his penius according to the Riktor scale.

Chuck norris always gets black jack. Even when hes playing poker.

[Lost Prophet]

chuck norris can win a card game without any cards. all he needs is his poker face

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Chuck Norris performed a fatality in DDR.

[SRVG]

the universe wasent al empty.before chucknorris came by and ate it all. nobody knew what it was but was never found.

this solare system wasent created around the sun but around chuck norris. the earth is only a vacation place.

after this he go's back to elvis to play chest.

both made up my self :D

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

Okay, I got one question for this thread, "LOL...?" I mean, none of these are funny (the ones that were made up by the members here). The ones on chucknorrisfacts.com are funny, but most of these made up ones by ya'll are pretty stupid (no offense, of course).

[KageNaruto]

at a resturaunt chuck norris ate 20 pounds of prime beef in 1 hour. he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress though.

[V.VELDANEN]

Okay, I got one question for this thread, "LOL...?" I mean, none of these are funny (the ones that were made up by the members here). The ones on chucknorrisfacts.com are funny, but most of these made up ones by ya'll are pretty stupid (no offense, of course).

Really? I thought its really witty...

As I've always believed, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything smart-ass...

[Lost Prophet]

Okay, I got one question for this thread, "LOL...?" I mean, none of these are funny (the ones that were made up by the members here). The ones on chucknorrisfacts.com are funny, but most of these made up ones by ya'll are pretty stupid (no offense, of course).

Really? I thought its really witty...

As I've always believed, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything smart-ass...

you are absolutely right, V. Its not cool to criticize.

[dan2025]

you are absolutely right, V. Its not cool to criticize.

why ya posting in blue latly lost?

[KageNaruto]

Okay, I got one question for this thread, "LOL...?" I mean, none of these are funny (the ones that were made up by the members here). The ones on chucknorrisfacts.com are funny, but most of these made up ones by ya'll are pretty stupid (no offense, of course).

i bet you couldnt do any better at all either, so dont critisize when you suck more than them

[Lost Prophet]

lets see you make one, shinobi kenshin x

[SRVG]

lets see you make one, shinobi kenshin x
he dosent want to.
hope he gets al emo and start crying.
but to put that a side.

chucknorris is so great that he dosent even have to do anything to whipe shinobi kenshin X out of this thread. :twisted:

[Bap]

Flaming! Joyous! A reason to lock the thread!

Chuck Norris will not be able to stop me from locking this thread if this shit continues. And I don't think Chuck Norris will be too happy with you guys when he finds out you are the reason I locked the thread.

[kjrav]

Chuck Norris can go to Hell.

[SRVG]

Flaming! Joyous! A reason to lock the thread!

Chuck Norris will not be able to stop me from locking this thread if this shit continues. And I don't think Chuck Norris will be too happy with you guys when he finds out you are the reason I locked the thread.
wel then baps plz also point it to people wo only post stuff like " chucknorris is so fucking bad "
that kind stuff is also useless.


for al the people again who dont get is
its was thought up because chucknorris always acts so fake.
thats what the used to make the stuff.
ASIF he is the best. :D

[Maverick Viper]

It's okay. Chuck Norris understsands that when his threads are locked, they're just temporarily prevented from spilling out dangerous amounts of AWESOMESNESS to the rest of the forum.

All Chuck threads have to be locked eventually to contain their incredible power.

[SRVG]

It's okay. Chuck Norris understsands that when his threads are locked, they're just temporarily prevented from spilling out dangerous amounts of AWESOMESNESS to the rest of the forum.

All Chuck threads have to be locked eventually to contain their incredible power.

TOTALLY TRUE
sorry for the spam XD

[Bap]

Flaming! Joyous! A reason to lock the thread!

Chuck Norris will not be able to stop me from locking this thread if this shit continues. And I don't think Chuck Norris will be too happy with you guys when he finds out you are the reason I locked the thread.
wel then baps plz also point it to people wo only post stuff like " chucknorris is so f***ing bad "
that kind stuff is also useless.


for al the people again who dont get is
its was thought up because chucknorris always acts so fake.
thats what the used to make the stuff.
ASIF he is the best. :D

I think all this stuff is useless -- you can find them on chucknorrisfacts.com, so i dont see a reason to puttin gthem here.

[SRVG]

Flaming! Joyous! A reason to lock the thread!

Chuck Norris will not be able to stop me from locking this thread if this shit continues. And I don't think Chuck Norris will be too happy with you guys when he finds out you are the reason I locked the thread.
wel then baps plz also point it to people wo only post stuff like " chucknorris is so f***ing bad "
that kind stuff is also useless.


for al the people again who dont get is
its was thought up because chucknorris always acts so fake.
thats what the used to make the stuff.
ASIF he is the best. :D

I think all this stuff is useless -- you can find them on chucknorrisfacts.com, so i dont see a reason to puttin gthem here.
wel thats why i put my own ones here.
i want to get a good one myself :D

[Lost Prophet]

we just need to take more time out of our lives to make better ones, and kick out all the haters who do nothing for the thread but take up space with their posts.

[KageNaruto]

ooo i made one!

chuck norris will soon be the 6th hokage and the strongest that ever lived.

[Yuber]

http://photobucket.com/albums/a172/amleb/th_2b5e23d6.jpg >>>>> http://photobucket.com/albums/a172/amleb/th_108e1ef3.jpg

I promise.

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a172/amleb/bd0214b4.jpg

Bolton has far more shitty in him than Chuck.

[Hellchild915]

Chuck Norris went on the "Best Damn Sports Show Period" and read out his facts.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/19060/The_Chuck_Norris_Facts.html

[Sexy no Jutsu]

Didn't this thread start from a flash animation i posted? XD

[Hellchild915]

Yes you posted it in a spam thread I think and somebody made this

[Lost Prophet]

no matter who started it, it has become a code, or a way of life, to many. Chuck norris is looked at as a god by his followers at times.

[Bap]

we just need to take more time out of our lives to make better ones, and kick out all the haters who do nothing for the thread but take up space with their posts.

And this does something? I have every reason to lock this thread, but I am extending my eternal graciousness for you guys. Be happy I just hate Chuck, and not all you guys too :P

And Michael Bolton PWNS Chuck Norris -- "When a man loves a woman" not even Chuck Norris "can't keep his mind on nothin' else"

[graff]

im not even going to ask how you know those lyrics. well im assuming there lyrics.

but thanks for your graciousness.

[Bap]

LOL you mean you DON'T know all of Michael Bolton's lyrics? what a shame....

(google is good for these thigns)

[Lost Prophet]

indeed. anyways. chuck norris once gave a sprain a broken ankle.

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

Check this out! It's an interview with Chuck Norris himself, in Time magazine.

The action start and former Walker, Texas Ranger is now an online cult hero and founder of the World Combat League, a new fighting organization.

How does your professional fighting league work? It's six-person teams--five mean, one woman. Each person fights a 3-min. round--3 minutes of full-throttle fighting. My mind was on a male league, but we got lots of e-mails from women who said, We want to fight! These women are tough. I wouldn't want to take them on.

So violent--like your movies. Why have my movies been so successful? People like action. But in my movies, violence is a last resort.

Does Hollywood take you seriously? No, but I didn't start acting expecting to be Laurence Olivier. I wanted to do films that were entertaining.

Walker obviously has to love Westerns. I grew up just with my mom raising me. John Wayne and Roy Rogers were sort of surrogate fathers to me. Westerns those days were different. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. I'm not sure I will. I don't like way-out dramas.

You're a rare show-biz Republican. If I found a Democrat I liked, I'd support him too. When President Bush was Governor of Texas, I felt he was a strong leader. And I felt he'd be a strong leader of the country. But I wouldn't want to be in his shoes for all the money in the world. A group in Texas tried to get me to run for Senator, but I've got more important things to do.

Like being an online cult hero. There are these weird but wildly popular sayings like "Chuck Norris can divide by zero." To say I'm surprised is an understatement. I take it as a compliment.

Do you even send e-mails? I told you, I'm from the Wild West. I write by hand.
I thought you would all love to read that. :) After all, it really does prove that Chuck Norris isn't all that great.

[SRVG]

Check this out! It's an interview with Chuck Norris himself, in Time magazine.

The action start and former Walker, Texas Ranger is now an online cult hero and founder of the World Combat League, a new fighting organization.

How does your professional fighting league work? It's six-person teams--five mean, one woman. Each person fights a 3-min. round--3 minutes of full-throttle fighting. My mind was on a male league, but we got lots of e-mails from women who said, We want to fight! These women are tough. I wouldn't want to take them on.

So violent--like your movies. Why have my movies been so successful? People like action. But in my movies, violence is a last resort.

Does Hollywood take you seriously? No, but I didn't start acting expecting to be Laurence Olivier. I wanted to do films that were entertaining.

Walker obviously has to love Westerns. I grew up just with my mom raising me. John Wayne and Roy Rogers were sort of surrogate fathers to me. Westerns those days were different. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. I'm not sure I will. I don't like way-out dramas.

You're a rare show-biz Republican. If I found a Democrat I liked, I'd support him too. When President Bush was Governor of Texas, I felt he was a strong leader. And I felt he'd be a strong leader of the country. But I wouldn't want to be in his shoes for all the money in the world. A group in Texas tried to get me to run for Senator, but I've got more important things to do.

Like being an online cult hero. There are these weird but wildly popular sayings like "Chuck Norris can divide by zero." To say I'm surprised is an understatement. I take it as a compliment.

Do you even send e-mails? I told you, I'm from the Wild West. I write by hand.
I thought you would all love to read that. :) After all, it really does prove that Chuck Norris isn't all that great.

seeing you still dont get it.
its the pure NO need to think LOL its al about.

i think that you think tohard about it. stop trying to bring it down and join the fun for crying out load.

[Lost Prophet]

Check this out! It's an interview with Chuck Norris himself, in Time magazine.

The action start and former Walker, Texas Ranger is now an online cult hero and founder of the World Combat League, a new fighting organization.

How does your professional fighting league work? It's six-person teams--five mean, one woman. Each person fights a 3-min. round--3 minutes of full-throttle fighting. My mind was on a male league, but we got lots of e-mails from women who said, We want to fight! These women are tough. I wouldn't want to take them on.

So violent--like your movies. Why have my movies been so successful? People like action. But in my movies, violence is a last resort.

Does Hollywood take you seriously? No, but I didn't start acting expecting to be Laurence Olivier. I wanted to do films that were entertaining.

Walker obviously has to love Westerns. I grew up just with my mom raising me. John Wayne and Roy Rogers were sort of surrogate fathers to me. Westerns those days were different. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. I'm not sure I will. I don't like way-out dramas.

You're a rare show-biz Republican. If I found a Democrat I liked, I'd support him too. When President Bush was Governor of Texas, I felt he was a strong leader. And I felt he'd be a strong leader of the country. But I wouldn't want to be in his shoes for all the money in the world. A group in Texas tried to get me to run for Senator, but I've got more important things to do.

Like being an online cult hero. There are these weird but wildly popular sayings like "Chuck Norris can divide by zero." To say I'm surprised is an understatement. I take it as a compliment.

Do you even send e-mails? I told you, I'm from the Wild West. I write by hand.
I thought you would all love to read that. :) After all, it really does prove that Chuck Norris isn't all that great.

lol. my friend showed me this same article today. He IS an online cult hero.

[Shinobi Kenshin X]

I know, I like ruining fun! >P

By the way, I'm quite interested about this world tournament he's trying to make. It kinda reminds me of the Tenkaichi Budokai in Dragon Ball, or the Dark Tournament in Yu Yu Hakusho (Chuck Norris watches anime, perhaps. XD).

I kinda find it funny, though, that Chuck Norris is scared to fight women. :P

[Lost Prophet]

hes exagerating. HE doesn't want to hurt THEM.

[SRVG]

I know, I like ruining fun! >P

By the way, I'm quite interested about this world tournament he's trying to make. It kinda reminds me of the Tenkaichi Budokai in Dragon Ball, or the Dark Tournament in Yu Yu Hakusho (Chuck Norris watches anime, perhaps. XD).

I kinda find it funny, though, that Chuck Norris is scared to fight women. :P
like thats the stuff i wana hear. :D
and yha it is as if he did watch dbz. a bit celsaga maybe and i love it if the do a powerup for real but thats not posible sadely but true. :(
else i wanted a sajyan saga.

[Aurora Dark]

Lol guys, watch this:

Chuck Norris Reads CN Facts (http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/17/chuch_norris_reads_chuck_norri.html)

[Kemono]

Lol guys, watch this:

Chuck Norris Reads CN Facts (http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/17/chuch_norris_reads_chuck_norri.html)


hahahahahahha OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is the biggest pieace of bull i ever heard nice aurora :lol:

[Maverick Viper]

Shortly after that episode, the show was cancelled because nothing they tried could ever top Chuck Norris reading his own facts.

[Hellchild915]

heres a vid for all you think that he is a god

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/19615/Chuck_Norris.html

[King Vamp]

I hate Chuck Norris because everyone else LOVES HIM.

[KageNaruto]

I hate Chuck Norris because everyone else LOVES HIM.

rofl! dude, nobody at all loves him one bit

[Lost Prophet]

'cept for his wife and loyal fans, that is. if you dont obey him, hell roundhouse your head off

Chuck Norris successfully mated a graham cracker with a knife

Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Chuck Norris is watching.

When Chuck Norris masturbates, his penis sounds like a cougar.

Chuck Norris went into a kindergarten to talk about fire safety. After four minutes three children were on fire and Chuck had shot a bottle-rocket out of his urethra.

In response to his challenge, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked MC Hammer so hard that he went bankrupt. Chuch Norris then bellowed, "I can touch this," while he pelvic thrusted in Hammer's general direction

Chuck Norris eats members of the Ku Klux Klan for lunch every Thursday

Chuck Norris drinks milk and shits yogurt.

Chuck Norris prefers Pepsi to Coke, McDonald's to Burger King, and, surprisingly, Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper. When asked why, Chuck Norris responded with, "I don't trust Doctors." Then, he shot lasers out of his eyes, and ate the hearts of everyone in the room.

The producers of the movie Anaconda almost saved tons of money by using Chuck Norris' penis as the Anaconda, rather than a computer animated one. They turned it down because they claimed "Anacondas can never grow to be that big, not even in Hollywood."

Saddam Hussein was toppled from power after inviting Chuck Norris to move to Iraq, proving that Saddam was trying to acquire a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Chuck Norris has a reinforced titanium toilet, as his urine is shot out with such amazing force it would shatter a standard porcelain toilet.

[uchiha_melody]

.................err WHO teh heck is chuck!? O_O *makes a face*

[Lost Prophet]

*slaps uchiha*are you kidding me? youre disgraceful!he is DAH MAN of all MEN!anyway, the fad is comind to an end.

[Hellchild915]

I know I thought everyone had heard of chuck norris even people from oversee's

[Lost Prophet]

hes been around for sooo long, and people still dont know him

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Chuck Norris + Oblivion = worth bringing this thread back.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MP9CHQZ3mHw

[Octo]

I hate Chuck Norris because everyone else LOVES HIM.

Wow, so you're one of "those" people.

Lemme guess you'll listen to bands but once they become famous you stop listening?

sheesh.

I now hate air, because everyone else loves it.

[Lost Prophet]

I hate Chuck Norris because everyone else LOVES HIM.

Wow, so you're one of "those" people.

Lemme guess you'll listen to bands but once they become famous you stop listening?

sheesh.

I now hate air, because everyone else loves it.

I doubt he is like that, since he likes slipknot and such, probably even system of a down, etc.

[AK47]

chuck norris is an optimist
even when he fights
i fought him once in real life and he's a wuss and i whooped his butt
man i wish

[gerbster11]

Chuck norris got owned by Bruce Lee in that one movie,,,,, i forgot the name but it was in a colliseum, and it wasnt a fake fight it was real..

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

What you talkin about, norris is like the strongest guy ever!(LOL)

[Hellchild915]

What bruce lee would totally own Chuck norris

[AK47]

that's why he said "lol"
i think jet li is cooler though

[gerbster11]

I agree, me and my friends used to get into long arguments over who would win in a fight between jet li and bruce lee.

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

bruce lee would win vs jet li, yes jet li is cool but it's all fake, well for most part, jackie chan's scene are real at least, i'm sure chan is stronger than li.

[Hellchild915]

HELL NO jet li would get owned by bruce lee and jackie chan

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

he would own them or would get own, because if it is he would get owned like you writted it, than we are agreeing so why is the hell no.

[AK47]

no jet li is stronger cuz jackie chan is old
jackie chan does his own stunts without strings, but i saw a documentary on jet li and the director was like "we had to do so many retakes cuz jet li was too fast and that we couldn't get it on camera" or something like that
jet li's movies uses strings to make the scene look cooler
anyways new guy- ong bak, what's his real name?

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

Oh my god, you're right, don't know his name but that guy is simply awesome!

[Hellchild915]

no jet li is stronger cuz jackie chan is old
jackie chan does his own stunts without strings, but i saw a documentary on jet li and the director was like "we had to do so many retakes cuz jet li was too fast and that we couldn't get it on camera" or something like that
jet li's movies uses strings to make the scene look cooler
anyways new guy- ong bak, what's his real name?

Jackie chan is old today is actually his birthday he turned 52 but younger he would own all(except Bruce Lee)

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

yeah agree on that one, but what you think of that guy, the ong bak.

[gerbster11]

Are you talking aobut that one dude with the big chest?? I think he was the main bad guy in Bloodsport. But i think that bruce lee would own him too.

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

I'm not sure what you talkin about but didn't you see that new movie, it got out this summer i think on dvd, the title is ong bak, the tai warrior and it's just sick, you gotta see that movie, the main caracter is awesome! OH! I remember his name it's Jonhny Faa i think!

[gerbster11]

mmmmm, im gonna see if i can find that movie, thanks.

[Aurora Dark]

The guy from Ong-bak:

Tony Ja

[AK47]

yes i love his voice it's so high and funny
but the chase scene of that movie was so cool and funny
man it was scary when that guy put all that coke in that girl's face and she was dying. AUGH
tony ja is awesome although they didn't put depth into his character

[imported_Greenlitflag]

Wesley Snipes > Chuck Norris

[Bartimaeus]

Why is he so famous? I know he's been on tv and all but his popularity??

He's just been number 1 martial art champion for 10 years, but not anymore

[KageNaruto]

hes like that one dude with lots of facial hair in dbz, you know the one that uses a jetpack to fly, forgot his name

wait hercule, yeah thats it

[ZrAeNiAn]

Wesley Snipes > Chuck Norris

omg no...

wesley snipes is just as worse of an actor as chuck...

chuck pwns wesley snipes in martial arts tho :P

-Zr-

[Lost Prophet]

wesley snipes=blade?if so, then he is nothing compared to chuck

[Lost Prophet]

dbl post.why?just found out that on weekdays at 5 in the morning or something like that on cartoon network, theres a show called chuck norris karate commandos

[E_Juva_Zio_Umm]

Wesly Snipes and Chuck Noris? I'd have to go with Wesly cause I haven't see Chuck since I was 3.

[imported_Greenlitflag]

"Chidori Vs. Chuck!
Chakra against champion:
The oodama raging dattebayo special!"

This is supposed to be the name of the last filler episode.

[Canthinkofaname]

it is clear to everyone here that chuck norris sucks big balls

[gerbster11]

dbl post.why?just found out that on weekdays at 5 in the morning or something like that on cartoon network, theres a show called chuck norris karate commandos

yeah, they showed one of the episodes on April 1st, and it was f*****g stupid. Chuck Norris blows, Bruce Lee beat his ass. I wonder if it was Chuck Norris who had Bruce Lee killed cuz he jealous.

[Lost Prophet]

no, his brain swelled during filming enter the dragon

[gerbster11]

I thought he got shot???

[Lost Prophet]

no. that was his son, brandon lee. it was on the set of the movie, the crow

[Fool Of Doom]

sounds like he needs a better stunt double

[Drunken_Master_Rock_Lee]

2 words........NORRIS SUCKS!

[Raki]

Im reviving this. Cuase it needs to! Hahahaha!

-Chuck Norris prefers Pepsi to Coke, McDonald's to Burger King, and, surprisingly, Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper. When asked why, Chuck Norris responded with, "I don't trust Doctors." Then, he shot lasers out of his eyes, and ate the hearts of everyone in the room.

[Spangle]

Well Chuck sucks hardcore ass

[NMK]

Chuck Norris has been dead for 10 years ... The reaper is just too afraid to come and get him.
God said let there be life! Chuck Norris said "Say Please"

[Spangle]

"Say Please"

Chuck often says that while on his knees in a make change room :p

[Superior]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad