My first FanFic ever, Kage

[lionheart]

First I decided to call my story Kage because it means shadow as most of us should know. It is going to be about an alternate storyline with shikamaru. Please be sure to crit. i'll post it in a few.

[lionheart]

ok, here goes.

Intro.
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It was a humid and already hot day in konoha. It had been a few days since the chuunin exams and Shikamaru was anounced the only one to be promoted. His normal unintrested exterior seemed broken, and Shikamaru was in an unusually high-spirited mood. He was supposed to go to the 3rd to get his missions for the day. As he was walking towards the Hokage's office there was a deafening crash in the forest followed by fire. Many of the villages shinobi were already headed towards the forest when the hokage came out of his room. Shikamaru Is already at his doorstep when the commotion begins. Hokage tells Shikamaru, "Don't worry about your missions, it seems you've already got one." as he pointed to the forest. "How troublesome..." mutteres Shikamaru as he disappears in a rush to the outskirts of Konoha.

thanks for reading give me your crits! I'll post chapter one soon.

[lionheart]

Chapter 1:
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"It's always me..." mutters Shikamaru. But Shikamaru soon finds out there is no time to mull around. Shikamaru turns around to find himself facing wht must be thousands of ninja*. "This is not good." Shikamaru dives into some bushes and misses being seem by seconds. "Why isn't anybody else out here?" But as soon as those words left his mouth about 20 Jounin appeared around him as well as about a hundred other lower ranked ninja. They all begin to fight off the assualt with each of their own abilities. *CRASH!* Trees fall and break hitting the ground. And in the blink of an eye the enemy is gone. As the dust settles around the defenders it becomes clear to shikamaru...he's dreaming! He wakes up in a cold sweat remembering that the third part of the chuunin exams are today!

I want everyone to know that I intend for my story to be little short for a first try.

*Ninja-I like to use ninja like the word sheep both singular and plural are the same(yes I know it's wrong but I don't care).[/code][/list]

[graff]

i liked it

i love how you payed attention to the fact that shikamaru didnt know that the hokage was going to die. cause i was like wtf

good over all.

[lionheart]

Chapter 2
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"I don't care if I become a chuunin..." thought Shikamaru. But nonetheless he got ready for the days events. As he was eating breakfast his mother reminded him "Make sure you eat your eggs and drink your milk, you're gonna need your strength today!" "she's so over-bearing" he says to Nara Shikaku, his dad. "Do what she says", moaned his father "she is right." "well it is time to go to the stadium shikamaru." On the way to the chuunin exam stadium Shikamaru became distracted by the clouds and came to a stop. When he looked down the stadium was gone and in front of him his parents stare in disbelief. "Well, I guess we should go home" said shikamaru. However, his real thoughts were on how this could have happened. This question was answered all too soon when a mysterious fog lifts and the stadium appears again, but in ruins. "this is bad!"