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View Full Version : My first fanfic EVER...: Naruto's Revenge!


ScareCrow
10-04-2004, 10:05 AM
This is my FIRST fanfic EVER!!! so don't be so mean :( ...any pointers are welcome..and READ!

Chapter 1: Intro

"Sakura-chan!! Good Morning!!", shouted Uzumaki Naruto while running to the meeting spot. Sakura is there the earliest like always. Sasuke is sitting on a branch nearby-'What a baka....', thinks Sasuke."Oh hey Naruto-kun." replies Sakura. Naruto starts talking about radom things with Sakura while Sakura is staring at Sasuke dreamily. Sakura finally gets annoyed with Naruto."Baka! Shut up! If you have enough time to bother me, why don't you go and train!" shouts Sakura.

Sasuke, tired of all the noise, hops off the tree and walks away with his hands in his pockets. "Baka, if you have nothing else to do, get revenge on Kakashi-sensei for the 1000 years of pain joke...Hmph, what am I saying? You couldn't even surprise Kakashi muchless take revenge on him! BAKA!" shouts Sasuke at Naruto.

'HAH! Sasuke-kun is SOOOOOOO cool!' thinks Inner Sakura. "You too Sakura! IF you have enough time to stalk me, train some more. Your'e probably the weakest genin ever of Konoha!" says Sasuke nonchalantly.

Meanwhile, Naruto is steaming with rage. "ARGH!...I'm gonna kick Sasuke's ASS!!!" he shouts while rolling up his sleaves and running toward Sasuke. Even though Sakura is embarrassed from Sasuke's diss, she grabs Naruto's collar and hits him on the head. "Baka!! It's useless to fight! Kakashi-sensei said not to fight and Sasuke would kick your ass anyway!" says Sakura while dragging Naruto away.

While Naruto is being dragged away, he starts thinking. 'If I can't fight Sasuke, I will prove to him that I am stronger and I will make him recognize me by having my revenge on Kakashi-sensei! Muahahahaha!' Naruto laughs evilly as he starts to formulate his REVENGE ON KAKASHI!

ScareCrow
10-04-2004, 12:22 PM
no replies??? :sniff sniff: it must suck :(

Anbu Kunoichi Arashi
10-04-2004, 03:14 PM
Too much use of the word baka. It gets aggrevating. Other than that, cute so far.

ScareCrow
10-05-2004, 03:16 PM
note to self: never attempt fanfics ever again :(

Lukasz
10-05-2004, 03:20 PM
baka :)

it is your first fanfic.
temixiaroz.... (or something similar ;) ) wrote many fanfics so his fics are better than your :)
but you shouldnt give up.
write more, practice and listen to the comments.

never give up, never surrender!!!

Xenofever
10-07-2004, 09:27 PM
When I fisrt started my fanfics, it took a while to get a good one. You'll get used to it when you make for fanfics. You started out better than me though. :wink: