D Rank: Woodblade

[Kumo]

Woodblade
D-Rank
Payout: 95
A shinobi has been asked to participate in this year’s Blades of the forest competition. It will involve only swordsmanship, as taijutsu is not only banned, but will make a shinobi stand out in the tournament itself. This mission is COVERT. NO ONE must know you are a shinobi. This mission has been labeled as D-rank to the lack of danger in a controlled environment. As an extra precaution, while there you will use the alias Akaito of the mountains.

Arata sighed as he read the scroll. Aside from the disappointing payout (were his swordsman skills really that cheap?) there was only one thing his eyes really caught.

This mission is COVERT. NO ONE can know you are a shinobi.

Why? It didn’t make any sense to send a gennin on an assignment to hide yourself.

Particularly when aforementioned gennin had just crashed through your window, sensei close behind.

It was even weirder when the gennin and his sensei had proceeded to get into a crazy sword fight in the middle of your office, making it looks as though a hurricane had swept through. Hardly what you’d call stealth.

And it was pretty damn unlikely if the two had not nearly set off a village-wide search for a dangerous criminal that was still locked in prison.

And it was all but unheard of to keep your job after a well aimed shadow bolt from the sensei’s right hand had missed his own student’s head by inches, and had ricocheted off of the wall six times before slamming into the kage’s chest.

Well, he supposed it was unwise to question a man’s generosity. After all, he might realize his foolishness and take it away. Then where would he be in this world?

Probably three feet under.

Arata looked up from the scroll, straight into the Kage’s eyes. “Is this really necessary? A gennin going into a kenjutsu tournament under an assumed name? And covert?”

The raikage’s serious eyes pierced Arata’s cold teal orbs. The serious look was understandable, considering his office was currently in shambles. A large amound of paper seemed to be all over the room, along with kunai, some shuriken, and half of Lord Raikage’s desk.

“You‘re being paid to do this, so yes, it‘s neccesary.”

“… I could cut to the chase and stab myself.”

“Request denied. I want you on the way at oh-two-thirty.”

“…Uh, Raikage-sama?” Daikage said slowly, “It‘s 2:28.”

“Failure to comply will be seen as dereliction of duty,” Raikage grinned. “For which you will be stabbed.” He slowly unsheathed his sword.

“… So… problem solved then?” Arata chuckled nervously. A kage was not something that you wanted pissed at you.

“I never said where.”

“Well… where the :censored: is it?!”

“Five minutes from here.”

“….. S:censored:”

[Kumo]

Arata sighed, looking down at the scroll again. The address was correct.

He looked up at the dojo before him. The large, square building was made of a light yellow bamboo, and was placed a few feet off the ground, a little higher than normal, even for a dojo. There was a walkway around the entire dojo's perimeter, along with the typical sliding door at the very front. (Although Arata couldn't see it at the time, there was an identical door on each side of the dojo). There was even a large, typical sign with the kanji for work (稼) right above the door. What really, REALLY got his attention, however, was the roof.

Or rather, the huge pillar in the middle of the building WITHOUT one.

The walls went up about ten feet, large enough for most people to walk through without much trouble, then there was a perfectly flat roof. However, smack dab in the middle of the building was a huge, pillar-like construct five times the size of the dojo itself. The pillar simply ended at the top, with absolutely no roof. It made the place look less like a dojo and more like a horse got his hoof stuck in a birthday cake.

Yeah, a stupid analogy, but what about this storyline isn't?

Arata took the steps one at a time, which was pretty much half a mile an hour (if that) to the main doors. He reached forward, feeling his heart quicken slightly. What would he find? who would be here? The cream of the crop? the toughest people that weren't shinobi? Or maybe he'd get lucky and there'd just be trash?

With a grin of anticipation he slid open the door...

...and, for the second D rank mission in a row, was hit square in the face by something incredibly large. (No jokes, please)

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" a girl yelled. "WEAKLING!!!"

The 233 pound man that had hit Arata slammed Arata's head down into the hardwood floor as he flew past and crashed into the street below. Arata's head slammed into the hardwood floor, crashing through and throwing up splinters of wood into the air.

"OW!"

"Eh? Was someone there?"

"Gee, i dunno. Let's ask the question again when we pull his f****** head out of the wood."

Somebody grabbed Arata's shoulders and ripped him out of the wood, his head hitting the floor again.

"He ok?" the girl asked

"Dunno." came another voice, a man. "He's bleeding, but it's just a little... Kid, anything wrong?"

Arata's eyes were unfocused. He saw vauge human shadows around him but couldn't actually discern any of them.

Where was the mansion? Wasn't he just talking with Reverend Green? And where was the candlestick?

Arata frowned. "Of course there is, Reverend, the katana was orgininally colonel mustard's..."

"Ummm... What?" asked another voice, an older male that sounded like his throat was made of sandpaper.

"So it is ridiculous to assume Mrs.White could simply take it from him, even for revenge on low wages..."

"What's he talking about?"

"i think he did it in the conservatory when everyone else was in the hall..."

"I think he's reliving an old game of clue."

"Remember? Mrs. white said something about..."

"You guys go get some water and an ice pack, i have an idea."

There was the sound of footsteps as several people went back into the building. A door was shut with a small 'thunk'

"...him being locked in there when he lost himself in thought, and then Miss Scarlet found that secret pa-"

THWACK!

Arata leapt up, total clarity restored (for the moment) "WHAT'DJA DO THAT FOR?!"

The girl in front of him grinned slyly. "It worked, didn't it?"

Arata opened his mouth to retort, then stopped as he finally took in the person he was talking to.

She was wearing a black kimono with a wooden blade strapped to her side. The sandles she wore were blood red, while the socks underneath them were midnight black. She had short, bright blue hair that precisely matched the color of her eyes. Arata felt dumbstruck, partly because of the possible concussion followed up by a blow to the head.

But also because if it weren't for the sneer, obvious contempt, and the blood on her left cheek and sword, she'd actually be fairly attractive.

Then he remembered the pain in his skull and stopped staring.

"So you hit someone that you had already injured for no good reason?!"

"No, waking you up was a reason."

"I said good reason."

"... Then yes."

Arata groaned. "Great. Another one just like sensei."

"Ah! That reminds me... somehow..." She added, curiosity gracing her features now. "What the hell were you doing out here?"

"Oh! Um... i'm here for the bladewood thingie."

"You mean woodblade."

"Yeah, tree dagger."

"Woodblade."

"Forest Shuriken?"

"No, woodblade"

"Amazon Arrow?"

"Wood. Blade."

"TNT?"

"WOODBLADE!!"

"Cane laser?"

"WOODBLADE!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Thwack Olympics?"

"WOODBLADE!!!!!!"

"Bark Strike?"

"DAMMIT! LISTEN!! IT'S CALLED WOODBLADE! W-O-O-D-B-L-A-D-E"

"Now, come on, I know people are supposed to keep their minds off of such subjects, but come on, Penis sword is more than a lit-"

THWACK!!

"OW!!!" Arata yelled, falling back as the girl moved her wooden sword back. In instinctive retaliation he drew his fist back, held it steady for a second and quickly thrust it forward, his arm a blaze of (wait, what's it called? Tan? Whatever color human flesh is...) blazing straight towards the girl's face.

Fortunately for the girl, Arata's head injury chose that moment to act up again, and as his fist stopped three inches from her nose, he fell to the floor, snoring.

The girl looked surprised for a moment, then her face twisted into a look of amusement. "Dumbass."

[Kumo]

Three hours later...

Arata was sound asleep in the middle of the floor in what passed for the infirmary in the dojo. The walls were the same bamboo as the rest of the place, and there was a single bed in the corner. They had tried to put him in the bed at first, but he had crawled out onto the floor every time, so eventually they just gave up. Now he was sleeping on the floor, chuckling muttering about the Himeji samurai castle or some crap. The only other two people in the room were the blue haired girl from before and an extremely muscular black man that had clearly had his hair died blood red (Even his mustache and beard) and a large black sword on his back.

"Dumbass." Aoi snapped, leaning back against the wall. She groaned in exasperation. "Why do i gotta watch his sorry ass?"

"Because you're the one who gave him the third concussion." her red haired partner pointed out, calm dripping from his voice like water. "For all we know, he isn't going to wake up because you decided to-"

"Shut up, Araiguma. You're the one who threw the other guy out of the dojo and gave him the first one."

"No, i just beat him in a duel, then kicked him in the testicles. You're the one who kicked him in the face, knocking him through the dojo doors and into the kid's f-"

"And yet you're here too."

"No one trusts you alone with anyone. Least of all an anonymous boy with a concussion that you blame for a lousy predicament."

Aoi wished she could argue with that.

She truly wished she could.

Araiguma laughed at her complete and utter silence. "Anyway, did you at least get his name before sending him to dreamland?"

"First, no. Second, i told you, he fainted mid-punch, it's not my fault... Well, not entirely. I did find out two other things, though."

"What?"

"He's here for woodblade, and he's an idiot."

"You sure that wasn't the concussion?" Araiguma asked, eyebrow cocked.

"....... No... What's your point?"

The redhead rolled his eyes. "You're going to grow up alone with a raccoon."

"...... At least my unnatural hair color is natural... wait, that didn't come out right..."

Arata groaned. "gimme back da swaaaaarrrd..."

Aoi sighed at that. "At least one of us is having fun."

"Stooop iiittt... how'd you like it if someone stabbed your groin?"

".... Never mind then."

[Kumo]

Arata woke to the sounds of battle. There was a clash of wood on wood and two people breathing hard (... gay) nearby.

He turned to take a look. Then yelped and ducked down as one of the two combatants flew over his head, smashing into the wall opposite.

He immeidately drew himself back up to take in the scene, eyes wide. To his left was a woman with blue hair and eyes, grinning and sweating like a maniac. Her blade was out, but she was clearly exhausted, as it was shaking like a tree in a hurricane. He looked to his right and saw a man with blood red hair that had just smashed through the screen wall. He was getting back up, his own bamboo blade held in a downwards diagonal line from left shoulder to right hip. He, too, was breathing like he'd been deprived of oxygen for days.

"So... Do you..." the girl huffed, her hair a mess and a grin forcefully plastered on. "give up... yet?"

"You... kidding?" her opponent spat, pulling himself out of the wall. "I'm just... getting started..."

Arata looked between the two (Araiguma and Aoi, obviously) and laid back down. "Great. Sadistic like sensei and dumb like me. Just f****** perfect."

"Oh... he's awake." Aoi remarked, uneccesarily. Arata hadn't troubled to keep his voice down. She clasped her sword on her side. "Took ya long enough."

"Thanks to you." Arata muttered angrily.

"You're welcome." She said cheerfully, obviously missing the point. "Anyway, if your head's better, we might as well get to The Ring."

"...The Ring?"

"The big pillar thing."

"...Why do you call it a ring?"

"Because our master is an idiot."

"He's the idiot? You were fighting in a room with someone injured... and what the hell were you fighting about anyway?!"

"Uhhhhh..."

"NOBODY CALLS ME MEXICAN AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!"

"About whether or not to take a vacation to the loevly island of SHUT THE HELL UP!!"

Arata nodded, understanding on his face. "Must be a pretty nice place, i get postcards from there all the time."

Aoi and Araiguma both stared at him, both thinking the same thought. I hope he fights better than he thinks, or he'll be back here real quick.

[Kumo]

Arata threw open the doors into the large, hollow column called The Ring even though it was rectangular. There were nine people on one side of the room and eight on the other side of various sizes, ethnicities, hair colors and genders (and two people whose genders were impossible to determine)

[Will fin later]