Fukui Ryoji: An alchemist is born!

[blind]

Training of Fukui Ryoji:
http://public2.tektek.org/img/av/0805/d06/23/b0ec6.png (http://tektek.org/avatar/13796260)

Character Page (http://forum.narutochaos.com/showpost.php?p=644758&postcount=245)

Training:

A Bright Light: Part 1 (http://forum.narutochaos.com/showpost.php?p=645130&postcount=4) | Part 2 (http://forum.narutochaos.com/showpost.php?p=645132&postcount=5) - White phosphorus synthesis, Level 1

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A Bright Light

Part 1:

SFX: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING BAM!

Ryoji sits up and grimaced, as waves of annoying sound bombard his eardrums. He slams his hand down on his alarm clock, stopping it’s ringing. The cold floor send shivers up his spine as he made his way towards the shower…

************

The sky is still dark and the air still cool, but this has become a routine for Ryoji. The annoying alarm clock, the shower, and now breakfast alone. His entire family is still asleep, since his father was probably up late doing research, his mother had a night shift at the hospital and his sister is, well, seven. This is Ryoji’s favorite time of the day, when there is the least amount of interactions with others, which suits his reclusive personality perfectly. After he’s finished eating, Ryoji makes his way out onto the streets, silently closing the door behind him. He takes a deep breath and begins to jog.

SFX: Crunch crunch crunch crunch…

The sound of his steady footsteps begins to fill the streets as he jogs towards the Hokage Monument. The sight of his breath and the feeling of beads of sweats forming on his brow both seem to be an incentive for Ryoji to work even harder. As he arrived at the bottom of the staircase to the Hokage Monument, the sun starts to peek out from over the mountains, and the sky begins to brighten.

Ryoji: Alright, three sets of going up and down these stairs should be good.

Ryoji starts his run up the stairs. The first two sets were easy, and as he reached the bottom of the staircase after the second he wipes the sweat off his brow. He notices that there are people starting their days already, so he decides to hurry and finish up the remaining set. His breathing has become heavy, sweat is pouring down his neck, and his legs feel like there are lead blocks strapped onto them. But he pushes himself to continue, as he knows that every step that he takes will strengthen him. He turns around to admire what he has achieved after reaching the top. By this time, the sun has already risen from beyond the mountains and the village is starting to look lively.

**********

Ryoji spent little time for rest, and makes his journey back down towards village. Happy with his morning exercise, he walks towards the library. Walking through the aisles, a book of alchemy caught his eye, so he takes it and begins to read. He learns of a material that is highly flammable and is self-igniting in the presence of oxygen.

Ryoji (thinking): Hmm, white phosphorus huh? This could come in handy, it might even be more effective than explosive tags, since it can even blind my opponent…

As Ryoji reads on, it finds that this white phosphorus is actually derived from the mineral calcium phosphate, and is simply four phosphorus atoms bonded in a extremely strained tetrahedron fashion.

Ryoji: This mineral, I’m sure father has some of it in the laboratory, I’ll check that when I get home later. But how can I get it to bond like that? Usually bonds prefer to be a linear shape than a tetrahedron. Maybe heating it will work, or even shocking it.

Determined to create this white phosphorus, Ryoji checked the book out of the library and began to read.

[blind]

Library: ……………

Ryoji: ……………..

Library: ……………..

Ryoji: *RUMBLE*

Embarrassed and realizing that it was close to lunch time, Ryoji heads home, where the smell of lunch fills his nose and his sister greets him at the door.

Sister: Brother! Where have you been!?

Ryoji: I was at the library.

Sister: Well, lunch is ready, come and eat with us!

Ryoji sits down at the table with his sister and parents. His father is drinking a cup of coffee while he’s reading the newspaper while his mother is serving lunch. Ryoji pours himself a cup of orange juice and decides to as his father if there is any calcium phosphate in the lab.

Father: The mineral? I think so, there should be a jar of it sitting beside the freezer. What are you planning on doing?

Ryoji tells him about the white phosphorus that he read about in the book. His father gives him a smile, and warns him to be careful when trying to make something dangerous, such as white phosphorus.

***********

After lunch, Ryoji walks down to the laboratory in what would be the basement of any other house. The two walls of the laboratory were lined with cabinets chock full of all types of glassware of different sizes. Another wall was where a giant fume hood stands, as well as three massive cabinets containing a seemingly infinite amount of chemicals. The freezer by the staircase is nearly overflowing with chemicals that need to be stored at low temperatures. In the center of this laboratory are four blackboards facing away from each other, each having different chemical structures, observations and equations scribbled all over it.

He finds the jar of mineral that he was looking for and poured some into a metal pan. He puts on all his safety equipment, and put the pan over a hot plate, but after a while he observed that nothing was happening. Not to be deterred, he had to think of a new way to approach this.

Ryoji (thinking): Hmm...Not hot enough? Maybe if I used a hotter flame…like that Bunsen burner…

After his father helped him turn on the Bunsen burner, he starts to heat the metal plate and the crystals.

SFX: sssssSSSSSSSSSS

Sure enough, gas begins evolving, but still there was no white crystal. Remembering that his product reacts violently with oxygen, he moves his experiment over to the incubator, which is sealed in a nitrogen atmosphere. After hours of experimentation, he finally succeeded in making a few grains of white phosphorus, which he stored in a small air tight glass capsule. Content with his day’s work, he heads back upstairs to join his father and sister for dinner.

Father: So how did it go?

Ryoji: It was great! I only have a little bit because didn’t use much starting material in the reaction, but I have it stored in a glass capsule! I’ll test it out later on, when it’s darker out!

Father: Excellent, we’re going to have a show tonight!

Finishing dinner as quickly as he could, Ryoji went downstairs to retrieve that small capsule from the incubator and took it outside, where his father had a small explosion chamber ready.

Father: Ready?

Ryoji and sister: Yeah!

SFX: Crack FFFFWWWWWWHOOOSH----
Thankfully they were all wearing goggles; otherwise they would have been blinded by the intense white light that was given off as the capsule exploded. The bright light lasted all of five seconds, but those five seconds were so gratifying for Ryoji, who got to taste sweet success for the very first time as an alchemist.

?? : The hell was that?!? What that hell was that light?!?

An old man slowly walks over to them. His posture, slouched over, his eyes, squinted. His wavy grey hair, his square glasses, the scowl on his face, all of which makes him look very intimidating.

Father: Father, Ryoji made this. It's called white phosphorus. We were just testing it out, that's all.

Grandfather: *grumble* Well back in my day, if we wanted a flash and blast, we just use a damn note!

Ryoji: A note?

Father: He means an exploding note. Father, we were just testing something, if we bothered you, we apologize.

Grandfather: Damn kids these days, making stuff and testing stuff...I oughta-

Ryoji: Grandfather, how about you teach me some chakra control exercises tommorrow? I need some help on that. *Glance over to father, who nods in approval*

Grandfather: *smiles* Geez, that's more like it, you really should ditch all this sissy stuff, all this lab crap...

Ryoji and his father shakes their head and laughs as they all head back into the house.

[Dream Catcher]

Lol nice !! It's original and everyone can learn something from it !

Your writing is fine, but since you are doing present tense, be sure to stay in the present. In some of your sentences your jump between present and past tenses.

For example : Ryoji sits up and grimaced, as waves of annoying sound bombard his eardrums. He slams his hand down on his alarm clock, stopping it’s ringing. The cold floor send shivers up his spine as he made his way towards the shower… grimaced > grimaces ; made > makes
Also, the floor "sent" shivers, not send.

So just watch out for mistakes like that when you write. It's one of the hardest things to keep everything in one tense, even the best of writers mess up sometimes. Proofreading ftw ! :D

The training in general could use a bit more length and volume to it. By volume I mean more imagery and trial and error (<< important one) , but like I said, it's fine the way it is, but you have room to improve in some areas.

One thing about the phosphate. Does it light up instantly or is there a reaction time? And does it burn in a flash, or does it wind down ??

XP awarded : 2XP !! You did some light training and made your first compound? lol Keep it up !!